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What’s the funniest thing a student said to you in 2023?

We asked you to share some amusing anecdotes, and you shared plenty.

Love how the little ones have no concept of age. I’ve never ‘admitted’ how old I am, but they know I have adult kids. When they saw a picture of me in the yearbook holding my ‘3-0’ balloons for 30 years of teaching at my school, they were ecstatic to discover “She’s 30!!!”

A kindergarten student was looking out the window with me when there was a freak hailstorm and asked me: “Is it snowing?”

After asking what nicknames the kids had for me, one said “We don’t have a nickname for you, Miss, because we like you.” It took a huge effort not to laugh, and I had a quick word about not swearing at teachers, even for nicknames.

When mentioning I had been ill for a few days with stomach issues, I was asked if I had gonorrheoa.

“Where have you been? Thank God you’re back.” This was after I returned for a few casual days post retirement.

Context: I work with my husband. Student: “You mean Sir isn’t your brother?”

While on the bus taking students to the beach for a surfing day, one student asked: “Miss, how do the sharks know not to swim between the flags?” That was Year 9!

Marking Religious Education essays, on the rite of marriage, a student wrote: “They exchange vowels.”

Teaching medieval history to Year 8. “OK, there were two types of soldiers in the Middle Ages. Infantry and … ?” Student: “Adultery.” [Correct answer: Cavalry.]

A kindergarten student asked, “How old are you?” to which I always reply, “How old do you think I am?” Several students answered with various ages. One student says, “50.” Another student pipes up: “Nah, if she was 50, she’d be dead!”

Kindergarten student dressing up for “100 days of school” celebration pointed to an adviser who wasn’t dressed up while all the other kindergarten teachers were. “She doesn’t need to dress up, she already looks 100.”

Conversation with Year 9 after teaching about climate change. Me: “Sorry class, my generation mucked things up and it will be your generation of scientists who will come up with the solutions to fix it.” Student: “Oh, we’re stuffed”. Me: “No [you’re not], my generation came up with Wi-Fi and computers, the generation before that came up with flight, I know you can do it!” Student: “Have you met the kids today?”

Kindergarten child: “Wow Miss, you can grow white hairs!” I replied: “It’s my superpower!”

A student told my partner he needed to get out of the dead-end job he was stuck in – doing the same thing, year in year out, and lose some weight. That “dead-end job” was teaching the very student who said this to him.

During a lesson, I mentioned, “When I was your age …”, and a child responded with, “I thought this was a maths lesson, not a history lesson.”